The Pitch Of A 20-Somthing

Here I sit, prepping for the biggest pitch I've made thus far in my Marketing career. Here I sit... freaking out. See, there was no class in college that taught you how to do this on your own. There is no parent sitting in the waiting room to hold your hand. And there sure as heck isn't someone ready to tell you everything will be alright if you fail. There isn't someone doing these things because when you graduate college you are no longer a dependent. No one claims you on their taxes, and the only one making your dreams come true is you. 

Don't let this freak you out though. My mellow dramatic attitude is subject to the four cups of coffee I have had today. It's only 12 you say? That's a good sign.  

I've spent weeks fretting about this pitch. Not because I'm not ready. No, I am more than ready. I have been fretting because I want it so bad. And like everyone else's thing they want so bad, I want mine more bad than anyone else in the whole world. Trust me, it's true. 

My mind has already cleared the road for task to be done, and I pictures of the greatness that will come.  I spent the last few weeks dreaming about landing this client, then slapping myself for jinxing it. And even further thinking if I don't think I will get it then I will, but not now since I thought if I didn't get it I would get it so there is no way I can get it. And I'm pretty sure there is not a single person who hasn't thought the same. 

This is the game we play as 20-Somthings. We don't really know what the formula to success is, so we guess. We don't really understand the ways of life, so we fake it. We pour our heart into everything we want even the slightest bit because we know if we don't achieve it we will realize just had badly we wanted it to begin with. We are all aboard the hot mess express, and the only stop is acceptance. Unless it is not.

Maybe that is our problem. Maybe we fight this fear of being accepted so often that we don't understand the other outcomes available. We grow up wishing that one girl with the perfect bow on the playground would talk to us, or that just one person would give us the chance we deserve and the job offer wouldn't fall through. We walk the halls of our high school day dreaming of that boy who didn't pay any attention to us, only to find out he dropped out of college and list "Professional Pot Smoker" as his previous work on applications. 

We say we want so badly to be accepted by others, when really we want so badly to be accepted by ourselves. We want to show ourselves that boy would like us, we want to prove our worth by lading a job. What if for one moment we stepped back and let things happen? What if we didn't put so much pressure on ourselves? 

If for one moment I could get out of my head and stop pushing myself to "Land This Job," but instead speak through my passion, I wouldn't have to bite my fingers down to nubs and start over Taylor Swift's Mean because I missed one word due to a wandering mind of fear. What if we threw acceptance out of the window, and reminded ourselves that we are simply what we are. And that right there is good enough. 

When Life's Little Secrets Are Big Red Signs

It has become evident that something we as humans, and more importantly heel wearing species, lack is the ability to listen to life. We are firm believers that our gift is to know everything, and that nothing can be wrong if coming from that mushy pink melon between our ears. Problem with that is... most of the time we are actually wrong. 

Not that I'm saying woman were not given gifts. We have chest ornaments to lure drinks from men, and lashes to bat our way out of trouble. We have the capacity to remember every song ever written, and lungs large enough to recount every major designer in one breath. We were given the ability to hold bags on both arms, and still apply lip gloss without a fault. 

See, we are quite the talented kind. But, where we often lack in skill is listening to what is truly right. We ignore that loud voice of life and cover it with the silly thoughts of our own. And while this can be disputed day in and day out, here are two places I can back up my argument:

1. IN WORK YOU MUST BE HONEST
Though I hate being this person, I shall eat my own words by saying, when it comes to work I am pretty much an expert. I have been in good work and in bad. I have worked for a corporation and ventured out on my own. My eyes have seen both success and failure. And through it all there is one thing that remains the same: if you don't love what you are doing it's because you are not being true to yourself. For years I poured my heart into being a journalist. I wanted to help people and show them the truth, yet ended up spending long nights and early mornings cutting video, copying pre-written stories, and running crazy errands. Sure, there are some breaking news reporters that get to crack cases and reunite dogs with their owners. But there can only be so many dogs who will stand still for an after rescue interview. Taking a step back from journalism, I let myself fall into a career of marketing. Initially my thoughts were gloomy. How could I pack up my bags of semi-helping someone and turn for a road of not helping at all? Eventually, I realized life had brought me to this place where I was directly helping people grow their hard-worked-for businesses. By being honest with myself in knowing I wanted to help others, my work had become a direct reflection of those goals. Be honest with your final goal, and don't let a flashy present thought stand in the way.

2. IN RELATIONSHIPS YOU MUST BE RESPECTFUL  
I could have picked a few other things to talk about in this post. But honestly, I wanted to leave a lot of room for this one and not lose everyones interest before the end. I can not tell you how many times my friends, and myself, have fallen victim to this problem. Listen up ladies... if you aren't respecting yourself then no guy is going to feel the need to do it either. I am confronted time and time again by the most amazing girls who all ask the same question: Why doesn't he like me? I also often hear people giving the advice that girls need to play the game. "Don't call him for exactly 22 hours 16 minutes and 37.2 seconds. That will show him who's boss." Or "He likes you, he is just scared of what a great relationship he would have with you." First off ladies, stop throwing out these horrible comments. They are tales as old as time, and relationships are NOT games. I know because I've been there. I've said these things and have been told them as well. What you need to do is respect yourself. Be busy when you are busy and talk when you are not. If you go above and beyond for a guy and blame it on your personality, you better be going above and beyond for yourself too. I'm talking over the moon, home run kind of beyond. Don't act like you are crazy nice to yourself when really you are just crazy about the wrong guy. And lastly, RESPECT yourself. You know what I'm saying and you know it will work. Even if you don't want to admit it. We are so quick to give guys the thing we think they want, when what we need to do is give ourselves what we really want. And if you are worried about a guy who doesn't like you then what you want is a natural progressing relationship.

So bottom line, start listening to life's little secrets, and stop clouding them with things you think might, maybe, one day be right. If you are at a job that you hate, you probably aren't going to wake up loving it tomorrow. And if you are chasing after guys who keep disappointing you, they probably aren't going to wake up loving you tomorrow. 

Why Shouldn't it be You?

Tonight I watched, from a dimly lit living room, as Taylor Swift was honored for her hard work and dedication to the world of courtney music. I shot praise in her direction, and kept my head turned towards the shinning screen as to not let my parents see the tears form in my eyes. 

Don't get me wrong. These tears held inklings of joy for Taylor and her ever lasting battle with scrubs which have made her such a relatable character. Though, amongst the joy was quite a bit of grief. For, if you asked me just years ago, I'd have told you that would be me on the stage. Me cupping my face in hands and being kissed lightly on the cheek by The King, George.  

Yes, this seems crazy. And yes, it was. But for me the dream of being a singer was very real. It was pack my bags, beg my parents to move to Nashville real. I recorded a demo in a run down mall booth for goodness sakes. I burned it on handfuls of CD's and individually licked the envelopes with a little extra spunk and spit to cart off to record labels that returned them un opened. 

For years my parents have supported my dreams. Told me I could be anything my little heart could think up... with just a little smack of reality mixed in. They said that dreams are worth having, but in the end you must survive. 

Those words were great, but they were not what I wanted to hear. And as I walked across that black draped stage, and took a faux leather diploma canister, all I could think was that this could not be it. We could not be expected to stash our out-of-this-world dreams for an empty tube. And why? Why should we do it? 

Who's to say I am not the next Taylor Swift? Or, on a more realistic note, the next person to share their story. And why can't you be the next big thing? What is actually stopping you from living your dreams? 

We tip toe around so many things in life, because we are too scared to just go for it. We fear the bills won't get paid, or that we will fail. But do you think Taylor Swift didn't have those fears too? 

What about J.K. Rowling? Think of all the people who turned down her idea for a book series in which the first line "There won't be a child in our world who doesn't know his name," actually came true. Think of those great people you follow and love, and think of why you love them. Because they were not scared. They didn't let life get in their way. 

Someone has to be the next big reporter, or the next singer, even the next author. I might never inspire people in the way I wish too, but I'd rather fail trying, than sit in front of a TV pushing away tears for a dream I never chased. Because in the end, if we aren't chasing something, we are sitting still. And I've never seen a concert where the artist sits still.

It's All About Coming Home

In the past two weeks I have learned a thing or two about life, love, and what you can't take with you. I, along with many others, go through life thinking it is all about having some well thought out career and an open road to success. I, along with many others, am very wrong. 

11 years ago I was abruptly greeted by a tall, lanky, dark headed girl in my 6th grade class. I pulled myself together to meet her three best friends. And walked away shuttering at the disappointment shown by the short, spunky, blonde when I lacked the taste bud knowledge of something called Ramen Noodles. In a moment in which she had no need to find light in me, this dark haired girl did. It forever changed my life. 

Last weekend I was reminded of this instance, as I sat in a room with four girls and our moms. We talked about old times, and were made aware that our parents knew every single thing we did. The sneaky lake house visits that were not so sneaky. The times we called home from the car to say we were at the slumber party. In reality a slumber party and real party at the same, right? We laughed and we cried, and found peace with a difficult situation.

We were blessed. 

I am blessed. Blessed to have these girls who never stray, and who held on when I did. There are people in your life that are just meant to be there. They find a way together when times get grey, and find a way apart when space is needed. 

It is with great caution that I say I have never been a huge believer in God. Not because I don't think he is there, but simply because my belief has always been in other things. 

However, this week. This week was full of miracles. They have shown me the power of finding our way home: Dress fittings that happen on the exact perfect weekend for an out of towner. How a ride back from a business trip falls into place. And how our lives together are as simple as a pause and play button. 

As I stepped into a church filled with love and tears, I was greeted with a familiar view. Though this time I did not house a fear of fitting in with the youth group members, or knowing when to sit and when to stand. This time it was filled with beauty. This place I had been so many times before, with the loving woman we now all celebrated. She brought me back. She brought us all back, to the place she found peace. To the arms of our loved ones. The place we all belong. 

In life we wait for the next big thing. We bury ourselves in work to one day look up and see an empty room. We run from love at every chance we get. Find excuses to not feel, and not place our trust in things that could easily go away. Some of us are lucky beyond words. Some of us open our eyes one day and realize there is no where else to run. And that day it is not too late, those people are standing in front of us. That day, we are home.