The Pitch Of A 20-Somthing

Here I sit, prepping for the biggest pitch I've made thus far in my Marketing career. Here I sit... freaking out. See, there was no class in college that taught you how to do this on your own. There is no parent sitting in the waiting room to hold your hand. And there sure as heck isn't someone ready to tell you everything will be alright if you fail. There isn't someone doing these things because when you graduate college you are no longer a dependent. No one claims you on their taxes, and the only one making your dreams come true is you. 

Don't let this freak you out though. My mellow dramatic attitude is subject to the four cups of coffee I have had today. It's only 12 you say? That's a good sign.  

I've spent weeks fretting about this pitch. Not because I'm not ready. No, I am more than ready. I have been fretting because I want it so bad. And like everyone else's thing they want so bad, I want mine more bad than anyone else in the whole world. Trust me, it's true. 

My mind has already cleared the road for task to be done, and I pictures of the greatness that will come.  I spent the last few weeks dreaming about landing this client, then slapping myself for jinxing it. And even further thinking if I don't think I will get it then I will, but not now since I thought if I didn't get it I would get it so there is no way I can get it. And I'm pretty sure there is not a single person who hasn't thought the same. 

This is the game we play as 20-Somthings. We don't really know what the formula to success is, so we guess. We don't really understand the ways of life, so we fake it. We pour our heart into everything we want even the slightest bit because we know if we don't achieve it we will realize just had badly we wanted it to begin with. We are all aboard the hot mess express, and the only stop is acceptance. Unless it is not.

Maybe that is our problem. Maybe we fight this fear of being accepted so often that we don't understand the other outcomes available. We grow up wishing that one girl with the perfect bow on the playground would talk to us, or that just one person would give us the chance we deserve and the job offer wouldn't fall through. We walk the halls of our high school day dreaming of that boy who didn't pay any attention to us, only to find out he dropped out of college and list "Professional Pot Smoker" as his previous work on applications. 

We say we want so badly to be accepted by others, when really we want so badly to be accepted by ourselves. We want to show ourselves that boy would like us, we want to prove our worth by lading a job. What if for one moment we stepped back and let things happen? What if we didn't put so much pressure on ourselves? 

If for one moment I could get out of my head and stop pushing myself to "Land This Job," but instead speak through my passion, I wouldn't have to bite my fingers down to nubs and start over Taylor Swift's Mean because I missed one word due to a wandering mind of fear. What if we threw acceptance out of the window, and reminded ourselves that we are simply what we are. And that right there is good enough.