Know those weeks when everything seems to be fighting against you? when nothing seems to be going right and you can't really catch a break? This was my past week in a nut shell. As I hyperventilated in my car, lacking even enough energy to produce tears, I couldn't help but think things would never look up again. Quite the melodramatic statement isn't it?
See, on the outside things were going great. I had a few new client meetings scheduled, was confident in my work for once, and even had plans to watch the Tech game at a bar. With people. I had a social gathering planned. This was a crazy turn of events.
But, one by one things began to pile up. I had a bad review. Woke up two hours late, throwing the days schedule into total shock. And my car battery died. Luckily my family keeps this old Pontiac around for times just like this...
Pillows stacked so I could see over the steering wheel, a problem caused by depleted seat cushioning, I stumbled on my way to meeting after meeting. This concocted with only five minutes to shove an entire large Thunder Cloud sandwich and big pickle down my throat, as one of my only meals that week, was just the breaking point I needed.
As the Tech game rolled around my stomach began to churn. Confident that things were slowing down and my anxiety would pass I proceeded to attend regardless. Only to sit at the bar clinching my stomach and slouching over in pain the whole time. The one awesome thing I had done in quite some time and not even that could work out for me. Leaving the bar I felt defeated, even though my team was on their way to an exciting win.
Stomach pain resolved the next morning, I was off to Houston to see family and research some small business options. And this. The one thing that had been planned for weeks, was the thing that set me over the edge. Leaving town was a feat in itself. Stopping to get gas and bawling hysterically about having to make a two hour drive. I really wanted to go, but my body was screaming for me to throw the covers over my head and say goodnight.
It was here, making U Turn after U Turn trying to decide, that I had to ask myself what I wanted? Was I reluctant to make this trip because I wanted to do something at home? Or was I worried that leaving at a peak time for my business would mean miserable failure? Was I even worthy of giving myself a two day break with little work mixed in?
This is our problem. We put emphasis on the things that hardly matter. We refuse to give ourselves breaks when breaks are needed. Jobs are restricted to 40 hours a week for a reason. They are made to start and stop at specific times so your mind and body can rest. So you can have a social life. I'm all about getting ahead, but every once in a while we need to breathe. My final U Turn lead me in the direction of Houston, where I had a weekend that calmed me down, and changed my mind.
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